Obsession

Well, I don’t know what has brought me to this obsession. Asked if this really an obsession? I don’t really have the answer to that question.

I used to be 46 kg-ies early this year. I was terribly heartbroken that I felt to commit suicide. Thanks to my friends for being there for me and brought me out of that misery.

Then I’m back on my feet again and this time I’ve added 6 kg-ies to my weight which makes my bmi fall under the healthy scale. I don’t feel quite comfortable with the so called new body of mine. I just feel fat, especially when Boon starts teasing me about how my body seems to be mengembang to him.

He doesn’t meant to be mean, he just want me to be aware with my own body, so that it won’t over mengembang. I guess I should be thankful to him.

I then start control my food intake, Nope, nothing extremely. I just avoid taking fast, junk and sinful food as much as I can and start to have a healthy lifestyle (speaking of healthy, saya rindu nak makan salad, with Italian dressing)

But to be honest, saya pernah terfikir nak makan herbalife tau. (Hard to believe, aite?)

I weigh myself last week, and I am now 49 kg-ies. Deep down I feel like dropping more (Now you know, why I called it obsession).

The only thing that stops me from doing so is my butt seems to be invisible now. Already I have very little bump to start with and now it is hardly noticeable. Haih. So I guess I better stop before it becomes macam papan kan.

Nevermind, hopefully I'll be able to pack on the kg again come hari raya ey?